Helping Those Who Are Willing to Work Together
We have all seen the violent interpretations of divorce on TV. It usually involves screaming and fighting, throwing dishes, and spiteful rhetoric meant to hurt each other. You may be left a little confused because although your marriage is coming to an end, you don’t feel spiteful towards your partner. You don’t want to fight with them. In fact, you badly want to make sure they are well off after your divorce. You are not obsessed with “winning” your divorce. You and your spouse just recognize the differences in your marriage that you can’t overlook, and you are willing to work together to end your marriage on good terms.
What options are there for a couple that is looking to end their relationship by working towards a solution that feels fair for everyone involved?
What is a Collaborative Divorce
If you don’t feel like your divorce requires a fight, and you don’t feel like you need to “win” your divorce, you may be interested in learning about a collaborative divorce. You and your spouse are looking for a way to end your marriage that isn’t a spectacle. You are both willing to work together so that you can reach a fair resolution.
When you decide to go through a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse agree to problem-solve your way through this divorce. You understand that there will be negotiations where compromise may be required. But you also understand that if you can make a collaborative divorce, then you and your former spouse may be able to maintain an amicable relationship, whether that is for your own mental health or because you have children together. You want this divorce to impact their lives as little as possible.
The defining characteristic of a collaborative divorce is that the parties and attorneys agree not to litigate. You agree to work together on the division of assets, custody, child support, spousal support, and a parenting plan.
A collaborative divorce can be pursued with or without the help of a mediator. A mediator is a neutral, third-party professional who uses their expertise and legal understanding to work towards a mutually beneficial agreement for both parties. A mediator can also assist in the understanding of the divorce process and the legal technicalities surrounding divorce.
What is the Difference Between Collaborative and Traditional Divorce?
A traditional divorce tends to have a competitive, often spiteful motivation behind it. When a couple pursues a traditional divorce, they engage with the courts to help settle various issues because the couple cannot agree on how to resolve these issues.
The court will use a range of metrics and information to help solve these disputes and will award settlements by following these metrics. This can often leave one party feeling cheated because these metrics do not always cover the broad range of issues that marriage and the people in that marriage experience. When a governing body has to step into your personal life and make decisions on your behalf, it can feel very unfair and very impersonal.
A couple who receives a settlement devised by the court may have lingering feelings of animosity and stress.
A collaborative divorce chooses to avoid having the court system make decisions on behalf of the couple. Instead, the couple works together with their legal team, as well as the assistance of other professionals like mediators, child specialists, and financial specialists, to come up with an agreement that is more in tune with your personal situation.
Working with your team, you will work with your spouse to discuss and negotiate the terms of your divorce. Because no decisions are being taken out of your hands, you may feel less stressed out and less conflicted, and you and your former spouse will walk away knowing both of your voices were heard.
Why Choose a Collaborative Divorce?
You can look at different methods of divorce as identifying who holds the microphone the most. In a traditional divorce, the judge will be the primary holder of the microphone. In a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse will share time holding the microphone. Which one do you feel is more concerned with your personal experience?
When you and your spouse work together, you both can rest assured that:
- You both had equal control over the decision-making process
- You both saved money and time
- Your divorce is being handled in a private setting instead of a public court
- You have done everything you can to reduce confrontation
- You were able to negotiate your divorce on your terms
- Your children’s future is being planned by the parents instead of a judge
- Your marital property is being divided by you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse and not a judge
Do You Need an Attorney for a Collaborative Divorce?
While collaborative divorce is a far more amicable process than pursuing a traditional divorce, it is still a legal process with many nuances that you and your spouse may not understand.
By working with an attorney familiar with collaborative divorce, much like one found at KGH Family Law, you can know you are going into this situation armed with knowledge and experience.
Call 240-616-6968 to schedule your consultation. This is the first step in getting a collaborative divorce: understanding your unique situation and working together with your legal team, your spouse, and their legal team to reach the terms of your divorce that result in a less stressful outcome where you and your former spouse can walk away feeling like you weren’t ignored.
Call 240-616-6968 today. Don’t wait for things to get worse; now is the time to call!